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true strength lies in the ability to change the things you can change and accept the things you can't....and you can't change the unwilling... when you become a demon in their eyes with out doing evil then reversing it is all on them....aaaaannnnyyyyways....up date.....broke....trying to keep my house....get a second job...and or a roommate.
and if he truely does love you can't run from it only break it....and if you do break it you stand to lose it....then your left doing either 1 of 2 things
always wondering what could've been
1. and always chasing after it hoping to have another chance
or
2. spending the rest of your life fighting feelings that you should have shared when you had the chance.
and here's a tip....what you don't like rarely changes if you leave and come back...
I'm tired...and sick of repeating the same mistakes....and from what i can tell its always falling for the unattainable...problem is the same issue ruins it every time...so truely (this time i hope to stick to my guns) this time I'm gonna hold off on relationships.....a lonely exsistance sure but eh once i got my shit together who knows what'll happen
Blue runnin congress
Do any stupid stingy ass fucks wanna comment?
no?....I thought not....guess you woulda prefered dying with a deathgrip on money thats WORTHLESS!!...cause you think you can spend your money better and put it to good use....heh we see what 8 years of that did....too much more and i woulda been walkin down the street with a sword on my back, knife in one hand, and a gun in the other wondering how long i got before some one tryings to take my $300 to buy a loaf of bread for their last out of 4 surviving children.......
Idiots....oh well....let the democrats make the lot you have count for more so you can enjoying being back on top where you were before Bush said follow him in to the gutter where you trotted along and bent over eagerly...
Sorry...when you hear rich people and so called patriotic military persons regurgitate the slander incited by McCain's campaign you kinda realize that you live side by side with some putty minded people who are willing to let any one with pretty molds play with it....
"Am i still on sister status?*eye rolling smiley*"
"Huh?.....is that a bad thing?"
"Duhhhh!"
"Since when did you like me?"
"When I met you but you were havin female issues...."
".....wow...."
so from there she's done nothing but reinforce my faith in patience for love cause she is everything I could ever ask for....
for a close personal few....you might get to hear the part that makes me lucky in this situation
but either way.....by February of next yea I hope to be in Orlando...workin on getting my career started....with her by my side
ohhh and to show you who....
The do's and don'ts the pros and cons/ the wrong and rights the offs and ons
We are held back from the truth of matters/ that kicks us head down ass backwards
In love, But ever vigilantly trying to achieve/ the unattained sought after trick up the sleeve That one thing that makes love all make sense/ the one thing that makes it worth while, hence
That chick you couldn't stand becomes your lovable sexy bitch/ and yea you can twitch at the thought gag from the scare/kick it to your mind's back seat but it's still there
The Bitch you love to hate could be the one, a perfect pair/ you will make some people stare, with how you interact, but you could give a damn cause the bitch's got ya back/and the feelings start to stack and build, cause she got you feenin like Jodeci the feelin's real/ You might think that you got lucky in the rear, but the truth is love is fated and there is no way to steer
damnit man.....only when i'm exhausted does it flow out so smoothy....
if you think i'm talkin about you because of something i could congratulate you on then please elaborate so that i may do just that
Yes.....and when you get to that point......you'd better mean alot to me to ever forgive you at any point in the distant future
HURRY UP WITH SEASON 7.......i can't be expected to keep up if your gonna hold back on the TV on DVD's
this message has been brought to you by the letters G and D
G is for God
D is for...
DAMNIT!!!
**This message is directed to anybody influential that works on the Scrubs TV show. Since they don't read my LJ, I know this is pointless but mostly this is to all random readers who might like the intellect to comprehend the concept of context clues and the meanings of ranting and venting**
Know that like life even the brain has rules
Never harm yourself till you deem the cause worth
Never starve yourself even if ya ass says to hurry
The glue for the rules that keeps everything cool, is truth
No illusions just truth no confusion.
Nothing to restrain cause like water its formless
Nothing to change cause like geometry its exact
No nack's for theory's just fact
In fact if you ever find yourself in limbo
If your think so you should know cause deep down you do know
First reasons are excuse yet evolve into truth
Yet not at all has changed except you
You finally accept the shit you do
Know what you used to "knew"
And realize you don't change the truth, truth changes you
For good or worse better or bad
The perception of the change is like a whole in a bag
You think you got that shit but what you got you never had.
It was given and like all goods you must wait
Be patient for the answers, or get nothing great
Just sufficient, adequate, temporary patch and fix
Then later scratch ya head like what happened
So lets fix once and for all, its ya self you have to stall
cause answers are comin but you can't have them all......at once
The essence of hope, the insanity of dreams.....a wish gives you cloud to float along a stream,of life as it flows your smile will come and go, cause its never a question of why, its who will be so and so...undetermined, to be announced, the future is on a production line, the past you can’t change an ounce...or pound, violent urges leave you lost with out sound or vision.
Clear like the tip of your nose till you take a step back, that door to your heart is closed. Forever lost in wonder pondering the fluttering of one butterfly.
Nothing to change the river of life is ever changin, if it ain’t broke....fixin it will break it.
Futures wat you make it or shape it or mold and bake it, cast away the rules and parameters to find that love is unruled or defined just felt and enjoyed....the heart can be broke beat down and destroyed, but the fire that love brings like a phoenix your heart sings the lyrics of life.
Don’t be afraid of rebirth.
Cause that burn will surf on the life stream inert.
Intent on leading to the worth, knowing the worse was just worse.
To a startling revelation love is a blessing and a curse.
Shared between two, be it mutual or taboo,
spiritual or snafu, a mistake, may have been made.
Brick walls been laid, but nothin permanently blocking.
When the hearts explodes it sprays and sprays...spreading joy AND pain.
Likely to change regardless of chump changes there’s no price.
Cause when you wonder "why I didn’t do it ", know that loves to blame
"I’m not but i am", that’s the MO, love
"I can’t but i can", there is no difference but, love is the Mrs,
to Mr. Denial cause we never face our own faults. Blame that bitch called love.
Yea another one...again brain half dead
wow.....always wondered wat was the best way to desrcibe how i read people.......but that explains it perfectly....also explains why i hate negativity....
to anyone that reads this
I'm not the negative one you are...lol
but have already accepted and embarrassed, yet rejected
You can't help what you like, you can't suppress what you fight
cause truth is the fight ain't that quiet. Ya life ain't that righteous.
But people think you to be what you'd like them to see
The illusion of all that you wish you could be or can't help but need.
We are sane yet crazy, Innocent and lazy.
"I don't want people to know that...."
"Its none of their business..."
"I'm embarrassed cause.."
It all comes down to one thing self image is always lacking, but that will never matter if you want to be happy.
Nor should it matter to those who so called care or the lovers and friends who said they'd be there, but they laugh and they joke, they join crowds to stare.
They care for you they prove it with out the green eyed monster whispering in their ear, but with an angry tone pissed that you can't conquer your fears.
Hold on at the cliff when the end is near even when you let go of the baggage that stops you.
From climbing back up head to the top to, fulfill all your dreams and goals cause you got to.
They're right there with you like "Don't worry. I got you"
But nah, thats irrelevant, cause truth you hide is the worse there has ever been.
The fact that they're your friend.
And you feel Shame.
random as hell but i think its hot shit.
Update:
-Will soon be un affected by cops while driving
-Getting back over 1200 dollars tax wise
-Feeling like the life i moved on from justified my moving on thus causing person growth. I'm not that same guy i used to be
-I'm still a nice guy that is there when needed
-Tired of Montgomery(not really new info)
-Looking for a fuck buddy( doubt i'll get it based on my standards. Its still a relationship even if its not a commited one.)
-As soon as I am an unwanted man i'll be getting in the gym to work on not being fat no more(got the eating down just gotta start working out)
-Soon to apply and set a date for Fullsail
Ramble:
yea some parts of life are a neccesary evil and some just piss you off, but if its one thing i've learned its this. 2nd season of scrubs J.D. had a damn good point. those in relationship that bitch moan and complain don't think about those that aren't when they do bitch moan and complain. understand this relationships have ups and downs the only difference between the friendship version is there's nothing that you have to do other than be there and have fun. when times aren't shit between you and that friend.
I may be good at reading people but it gets me no where cause when it really matters it doesn't help cause emotions are the controling factor and you can't help what you feel.
puppy love is for NEW relationships
